How Social Media Affects Personal Relationships

Social media is now part of how people build and sustain relationships. It can make connection easier and more immediate, but it can also chip away at trust, intimacy, and communication if left unchecked. The impact isn’t one-sided—what matters most is how intentionally it’s used.

The Positive Side of Social Media in Relationships

• Staying connected: Platforms like Instagram, WhatsApp, or Facebook make it simple to stay in touch across distances. Research shows online communication can strengthen bonds when it supplements, rather than replaces, face-to-face contact (Utz & Beukeboom, 2011).

• Shared experiences: Posting milestones, sharing pictures, or even swapping memes reinforces feelings of togetherness.

• Community support: Online groups and networks provide spaces to share struggles and receive encouragement, buffering against loneliness (Manago, Taylor, & Greenfield, 2012).

These benefits are real—but so are the challenges.

The Challenges Social Media Creates (and How to Address Them)

1. Comparison and Jealousy

Endless highlight reels make it easy to compare yourself—or your relationship—to others. In romantic partnerships, jealousy can flare when one person likes or comments on someone else’s posts.

What helps:

• Remind yourself that posts rarely show the full story.

• Unfollow or mute accounts that trigger unhealthy comparison.

• Have open conversations with your partner about what feels respectful and what crosses a line online.

2. Surveillance and Privacy Concerns

Checking who your partner follows, reading their comments, or expecting them to share every detail publicly can erode trust. Fox and Moreland (2015) found that these “surveillance behaviors” were tied to higher relationship conflict.

What helps:

• Agree together on privacy boundaries: what gets posted, what stays private.

• Skip password sharing unless both truly feel comfortable.

• Notice if you’re “checking up” on someone often—ask yourself what insecurity is driving it.

3. Reduced Quality of Communication

Even when people sit in the same room, phones can steal attention. Przybylski and Weinstein (2013) found that the mere presence of a smartphone lowered feelings of empathy and connection during in-person conversations.

What helps:

• Try a “phone-free” rule during meals or before bed.

• Stack phones face down on the table when gathering with friends or family.

• Save sensitive conversations for face-to-face talks rather than quick texts.

4. Misinterpretation of Online Behavior

A “like,” a late reply, or leaving a message on “seen” can be misread as rejection or disrespect. Without tone and body language, small actions can spiral into arguments.

What helps:

• Don’t assume—ask directly if something feels off.

• Use richer channels (voice notes, calls, or in-person) for important conversations.

• Give your partner or friend the benefit of the doubt; being busy doesn’t mean they don’t care.

5. Emotional Displacement

Sometimes scrolling becomes an escape from stress. Over time, this can displace meaningful connection with people right in front of us. Partners or friends may feel ignored, or even second to the screen.

What helps:

• Check in with yourself before opening an app: Am I looking for distraction or connection?

• Schedule short but intentional check-ins with your partner or friends, like a daily debrief before bed.

• Set app timers or reminders to log off and redirect attention back to relationships offline.

Finding Balance

Social media doesn’t have to undermine personal connections—it’s a tool, and like any tool, the outcome depends on how it’s used. The most resilient relationships set boundaries, communicate openly, and protect time together from digital interruptions. By approaching platforms with intention, couples and friends can enjoy the benefits without letting the challenges take over.

If you need help facing challenges in your personal relationships, reach out to ResilienSEA Health Solutions.

References

• Fox, J., & Moreland, J. J. (2015). The dark side of social networking sites: An exploration of the relational and psychological stressors associated with Facebook use and affordances. Computers in Human Behavior, 45, 168–176.

• Lup, K., Trub, L., & Rosenthal, L. (2015). Instagram #instasad?: Exploring associations among Instagram use, depressive symptoms, negative social comparison, and strangers followed. Cyberpsychology, Behavior, and Social Networking, 18(5), 247–252.

• Manago, A. M., Taylor, T., & Greenfield, P. M. (2012). Me and my 400 friends: The anatomy of college students’ Facebook networks, their communication patterns, and well-being. Developmental Psychology, 48(2), 369–380.

• Przybylski, A. K., & Weinstein, N. (2013). Can you connect with me now? How the presence of mobile communication technology influences face-to-face conversation quality. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 30(3), 237–246.

• Utz, S., & Beukeboom, C. J. (2011). The role of social network sites in romantic relationships: Effects on jealousy and relationship happiness. Journal of Computer-Mediated Communication, 16(4), 511–527.